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So I finally got to see Steven again on Friday. It was kinda weird. I really wanted to just run up and hug him but then it was like, oh Steven's girlfriend... hi. She's seems nice and everything but it was kind of weird because, we've never really hung out while he's been with someone he actually likes. She has a kind of, unsocial vibe, I dunno. Maybe it was Steven himself that seemed off, maybe it was me, but I sort of felt the same way when I saw Jeremy. I hadn't seen him in a long time and I didn't know what to say or do or how to show him how excited I really was to see him.
           I don't think Steven has the slightest idea how much he really means to me. When I was lonely and sad he was the only person I could really talk to who could make me smile again. I have really great memories with him. I love him, really. I thought about him often when he was gone. I don't mean in a romantic way. At all. He's like a big brother I guess. Often I say that I don't really mean it, like with Cole and Brendan, but I really mean it when I talk about Steven. I told him I work the next seven days, but I'll try to hang out if I have time and he said I probably won't and I took that as sort of a hint that he didn't want to hang out, which is fine. I know of a lot of people that I think are alright but I just don't want to hang out with them or anything. Like Sarah. Well, I don't even like talking to Sarah.
          Though, even if he did want to hang out, his girlfriend would be there. I know it sounds weird for me to say I'm not attracted to him, and then this; but I really just want to hang out just the two of us. I couldn't have Chris there because he would be wildly jealous of how hard Steven makes me laugh and assume I'm in love with him or something. And I don't like the idea of his girlfriend being there because I feel like I can't be myself. It sucks, but I guess it's time to move on. We both have different lives we need to live.
I guess I just miss you.
Quite a lot.